


The Message

by Spazzo47



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 12:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spazzo47/pseuds/Spazzo47
Summary: An AU where Mac, not Will, is found on the bathroom floor after mixing prescription medicine and alcohol.





	The Message

He didn’t know when it became a habit. He absolutely did not want it to be a habit, but when he called her tonight and she didn’t answer, he realized that he’d gotten used to their now nightly calls at absurd hours of the night or morning. It started, this time, as a way to annoy her. He would call her up in the middle of the night with the intent of waking her up like the asshole he is. But when she didn’t seem bothered it by it, it felt familiar, in a good way. It took him a long time, longer than it should have, to realize that in their previous relationship she traveled a lot so they got into the habit of talking until all hours of the night and falling asleep on the phone. When he realized they had picked up that habit again, he stopped calling, but then she called him and he couldn’t just hang up on her. So it continued. Until tonight.

He’d called at midnight and when he didn’t get an answer, he hung up and watched a repeat of a game. During a commercial, he thought of something he wanted her opinion on, so he called again and for a second time the phone went to voicemail. He tried again 15 minutes later and still didn’t get an answer. And he was worried. They had built a friendship. That’s all it could ever be anymore. But that was enough to make him care that she’s not answering and even give him pause that she isn’t. He started going down the checklist of reasons she wouldn’t answer. She could be on a date. After her brief relationship with Wade, she hadn’t started dating anyone, but would he know. She’d been able to keep Wade from him for months. And when she was with Brian… He couldn’t follow that line of thought.

He thought about calling Jim. If she picked up Jim’s call, he would know she was safe, then he’d have to figure out why she’s not calling him back. But he decided against it, opting instead to visit her apartment. They had talked recently about the fact that she was still in her old place. He wasn’t proud of it, but because of how quickly she had to leave his place, he never gave her his key back, so if he had to get in, he probably could. He arrived at her door and knocked. She didn’t answer. He called her name, and he didn’t hear a stir. He put his key in her door and opened it, announcing his arrival. He walked through the apartment, the layout feeling familiar, but everything seemed different. Pictures in places they didn’t belong, a new coffee table, his favorite sweatshirt not sitting on the end of the couch. He checked the kitchen and ignored the pictures drawn by a niece that he’d never met. Her second bedroom that she turned into an office/shoe storage room.

He almost didn’t want to look in her bedroom, but that was empty as well, though he did see that her bed looked rumpled, like she had be laying on it before she got up. He investigated a little closer and found the first drop of blood. He followed the trail to her bathroom where he found her on the floor covered in blood and bile. He thought he would be sick, but held himself together long enough to call for an ambulance.

The next minutes or hours or whatever the fuck amount of time was a blur. He followed the instructions the 911 operator gave, the ambulance arrived and he rode with her, holding her hand. When he wasn’t whispering non-sense at her about how she needed to live, he wondered if he still had the ambassador’s phone number in his phone. He was sure that he deleted her siblings’ numbers after Camille called him screaming about how he was responsible for anything that happens to her in the Middle East. But he remembered debating with himself about deleting the ambassador’s number. He thought that maybe he kept it as an expert if necessary. Will rolled his eyes at the line of thought. He didn’t want to lie to himself anymore; he respected the man. He wanted nothing more than to be part of that family, even though it was impossible.

The doctors stopped him from following her at a certain point. So he stood alone in the waiting room. Will looked around, waiting for news on a woman he loved desperately once and had somehow become his good friend and closest partner. He took out his phone. He had to start making phone calls. Jim would want to know first. And Jim can call the ambassador. Once Jim arrives and he knows the ambassador is aware of the situation, he can leave and just keep tabs. Will took out his phone and scrolled to Jim’s number. Before pressing send, he exhaled, “This is ridiculous.” He scrolled to Dean McHale and found the number.

It was just after 8AM in London when Dean’s phone started ringing. Millie McHale heard it while her husband took a shower. She did a double take when she saw the caller ID gave Will’s name. Immediately she felt a shot of cold blood rush through her. She talked to her daughter enough to know that Will and Mac were working together again and had developed a kind of friendship, but she couldn’t think of a single reason Will would call unless it was an emergency.

“Hi Will, this is Millie.”

“Mrs. McHale, I’m sorry to call so early.” For the first time Will did the math in his head and realized that it wasn’t really that early in London. “Look, there’s no good way to say this, but Mackenzie is in the hospital. The doctors are looking at her now so I don’t know anymore than that.” Millie had a thousand questions going through her head and worked hard to make one of them come out her mouth. Will could hear her struggling and could imagine what she was thinking so he added. “I called her a few times tonight and she didn’t answer so I went to her place and I found her.” Will didn’t want to say what he was thinking, but he couldn’t imagine Mac’s mother not wanting to know how she looked. Will screwed his eyes shut and said, “She didn’t look good, Millie.”

When Millie heard the last part, her heart broke. Not only was her daughter in trouble, but she could hear the man on the other end of the phone trying to hold himself together, trying to not cry. In the three years since the breakup, she heard the pain in her daughter’s voice from losing Will, but she never thought about his loss or his pain. But she heard it now, and that broke her heart too.

“But you got her to the hospital and the doctors are going to take care of her.”

“Yeah. We’re here and I’m not going to leave until I know what’s happening. And if you want to make the trip here, I can make arrangements for you and the ambassador. What ever you need.”

“I know Will. I know. I’ll talk to Dean when he gets out of the shower and we’ll let you know when to expect us. There’s a chap that she worked with in Afghanistan, Jim Harper. Can you locate him? He’ll want to know too.” Will couldn’t believe how calming just hearing Millie’s voice was. Mac really was the best part of both her parents. Calm and cool in the face of any challenge, just a calming presence. But willing to cut you down with a word if you cross her. Will smiled at the times that she took whatever he gave her and shoved it back at him, just like her father would.

“Jim’s part of our crew, I was going to call him next.”

Millie nodded her head. “I know that as long as you’re with her, she’s in good hands. We’ll get there as soon as we can. Thank you, Will.”

It felt so familiar, talking with Millie and feeling like part of the family. When he broke up with Mac, he also broke up with the family and he missed them as much as… He better not finish that thought either. “You’re welcome. Just let me know when your plane comes in and I’ll have a car waiting.”

Will disconnected the call and called Jim who said he’d be right there. And so Will sat again, by himself, in the waiting room. He’d called everyone from work. Charlie would take the longest to arrive. Sloan’s phone went to voicemail. He told Neal, Maggie, Don and a few of the APs that he would keep them informed, they didn’t need to come right now since no one can see her yet. And now all he can do is wait. And think.

What the fuck was he doing? She didn’t love him back. He left her that voicemail, a voicemail. She always picks up when he calls. When she didn’t, he left that voicemail and told her that if she didn’t feel the same she should just pretend that she didn’t get the message. He didn’t expect her to act like she didn’t get the message. He thought he read her better than that, but maybe time had changed her more than he knew. Maybe he didn’t know her the way he used to or maybe he never knew her as well as he thought. She was able to hide a fucking 4-month affair from him. He really didn’t know her at all, did he?

He wasn’t sure what he expected when he left that message, but he wished he didn’t. Ever since that night, he’s had to relive the whole story and try to figure out where he went wrong. Their relationship the first time, how it ended. All the things he’s done to her since she’s been back. Why would she still be in love with him? What the fuck was he thinking when he called her that night? Actually that was the problem, he wasn’t thinking, he was higher than he’d ever been. That’s the only reason he thought she was in love with him too. The THC was the only reason he could imagine that she waited for him to admit his feelings and he thought she would hear the message and come running straight to his apartment.

But she didn’t, so he arranged for her to see Brian again, to let them reunite, give her the little bit of happiness that he couldn’t provide for her any other way. As it turns out, it was a dick move. He wanted her to see them side-by-side, see if she still thought he was the better man. She used to believe that. And she basically said that. Will McAvoy was the better man. Of course, Brian didn’t set the bar real high. He also wanted to see what they were like together. Did she love Brian? He remembered the look on her face the first time she said she loved him. Did she look the same when she was Brian? He needed to know. And the answer was no. Brian being there hurt her. And Will couldn’t understand it. If she didn’t love him and she didn’t love Brian, then what the fuck was going on in her head? And did that contribute to this? She was passed on her bathroom floor covered in blood and vomit and he had to wonder if it was his fault. And why she kept acting like she was still in love with him even though she didn’t call back or acknowledge the message.

Before Will could delve into that anymore, Jim arrived and asked for an update. Will didn’t have one, the doctors were still with her. Jim told Will that she was strong, she wouldn’t give up. She has so much to live for now that she didn’t before. Will wanted to ask what that meant, but he didn’t. If he was being honest he would say he knew that no matter what it meant, Will himself was probably to blame. He’s the reason she went to the Middle East. He’s the reason she’s been shot at and stabbed. Jim patched her up. Or was there when she got patched up. He never took the time to find out the details.

Sloan arrived next and by the time she did the doctors said that they pumped Mac’s stomach and they expect a complete recovery, however, they would need to keep her a few days. Will insisted that they give her whatever she needs, he would take care of it. Charlie arrived next and then in the next few hours, Mac’s parents arrived. Charlie sent Will on a coffee run just to get him out of the waiting room, so they immediately went to Jim who made the introductions. Dean asked where Will was and Charlie told them, emphasizing that Will had not left since he rode in the ambulance with Mac. Dean simply nodded his head. Will arrived with coffee for everyone and put the tray down when he saw Dean staring at him. Millie immediately ran up to him and hugged him. “You took care of her, just like you always said you would.” When she moved away, Will stepped toward Mac’s father and held out his hand. Dean shook it hard.

“How have you been, Mr. McAvoy?”

Will remembered the first time he met the ambassador. Dean eventually told him that he calls people by their title out of respect. Will countered by saying he would rather be called son, and by the end of the visit, the ambassador did just that. Right now, Will didn’t feel like he deserved either name. Mac didn’t want him and he hurt her, again. “Please, Ambassador, Will’s fine.”

Dean looked hard at his would be son in law. He clapped the younger man on the shoulder and whispered, “It’s not your fault.”

Will took a deep breath and stopped the tears from rolling down his face. He nodded his head and said, “thank you.”

Millie put her arm through Will’s and said, “Jim says we’re not able to see her yet.”

“Not yet, she’s still asleep. They said that she’ll be out for a while and then she’s going to be in rough shape. Did you get settled in your hotel yet? This may be a good time to do that if you haven’t.”

Dean shook his head. “No, we want to see our daughter before we go.”

Dean, Millie and Will joined the rest of the group, which now included Don, Maggie and Neal. Jim got Mac’s parents to tell some stories about their time working for the Prime Minister, which got the group laughing while they waited. Well, the whole group except Will, who sat to a side lost in thought. Charlie noticed and after some time passed, he took Will aside to talk.

“She’s going to be okay, Will. You made sure of that.”

“I know, I know, it’s just… Seeing her like that and having them here. I purposely didn’t call them to check on her after she was stabbed. And they still accept me like who I was, who I was supposed to be.”

“Who you want to be?”

Will shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what I want. She doesn’t want me. I’ve done too much damage. The women. The ring. Brian.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? What ring?”

Shit. He didn’t tell Charlie about that and now isn’t the time. “I called her the night of the Bin Laden broadcast.”

Charlie felt a smile creep on his face. “You told her, didn’t you? In your drug addled brain, you lost your inhibitions and you told her that you loved her.” Charlie looked at the younger man and the expression on his face. Something was wrong. He knew that Mac never stopped loving Will. If they weren’t back together, something didn’t add up. “And then you never followed up. You’re ego wouldn’t let you!”

“I told her to forget it if she didn’t feel the same and she went on acting like she didn’t get the message. She followed my instructions and I just wasn’t prepared for it.”

Something was definitely wrong. “What the fuck, Will? She may have ignored you because she knew you were high. Or you may have called a wrong number, you weren’t in your right mind. You’ve been holding this against her all this time? What the fuck is wrong with you?

“I checked my outgoing calls, I called the right number. She doesn’t feel the same, Charlie. And I’ve been an asshole.”

“The fuck she doesn’t. And you were an asshole when you were together. It’s part of your charm.” Charlie looked at the younger man with a twinkle in his eye. “If you want that life again. That family out there who loves you and the woman who never stopped, stop fucking around and tell her again. Tell her that you won’t leave her room until she takes you back.”

“Charlie –“

“She deserves a happy ending, and you do too.” With that, Charlie left Will alone in the room they commandeered.

When Will joined the group again, he noticed that Dean and Millie were not among them. Maggie quickly walked to him and explained that they were allowed to go see Mac. Will nodded his head, thanked her and sat down.

Dean and Millie came out and went immediately to Will. “She’s doing well. She’s got a little color in her cheeks, her voice is gravelly, but she’s doing well. Thanks Will.”

Will took Millie’s hand, “There’s nothing to thank me for.”

“We told her you’ve been here since you found her and she’s asking for you.”

Dean put his arm around his wife. “Mr. McAvoy, I know that things are complicated. My Mackenzie wasn’t ready, but she is now. I know it’s a lot to ask you to forgive, but you can’t fault a father for wanting his daughter to be happy.” Dean saw the confused look on Will’s face. “She never stopped loving you, Mr. McAvoy.”

Millie added, while running a hand down his cheek, “And I would be surprised if you ever stopped loving her.” Millie looked at her husband and said, “Come on Dean, let’s get checked into the hotel and then we’ll come back. Give the kids a chance to talk.”

Will rolled his eyes and smiled, prompting Millie to give him a kiss on the cheek and Dean a firm handshake. After the McHales left, Will noticed that Don and Sloan were missing from the group. After they came back from Mac’s room, Charlie, Jim and Maggie went in. Will sat by himself, thinking. Finally, Charlie tapped him on the shoulder, “You’re the only one who hasn’t be in there now. Go on, she’s asking for you.”

Will nodded his head and stood up. As he walked to her room he remembered falling in love with her in a control room, singing to her over the phone when she was away, times they both surprised each other with visits to say important things in person, they day he thought he would officially join her family and having that ripped away from him, voicemails and texts wondering where he was, newspaper clipping he never admitted to seeing, a parade of women to make him forget, the first time she came back to his newsroom, hugging her on Valentine’s Day, her believing in him, her passion, the feeling of rejection, both times. He wanted it all with her, always did, but so much has happened. Could he put himself through that again?

He went into her room and his heart stopped at seeing her attached to tubes and machines. He immediately reached for her hand, just needing to know that somewhere in the spaghetti of cables she was still warm and breathing. When he felt her twine their fingers together, he closed his eyes. This, this felt right. And all of a sudden, nothing else mattered.

“I hear you were the one that found me and called for ambulance. You saved my life.”

Her voice sounded horrible. He assumed that was from the doctors putting a tube down her throat to get whatever the fuck she took out. “You didn’t answer my calls and I really wanted to know your opinion on a story I was thinking about.”

Mac gave a half smile. “You still have a key to my apartment?”

“I’ve never used it until tonight.”

Mac nodded her head. “It wasn’t intentional. I mean, I wasn’t trying to do harm. I didn’t know how the alcohol would mix with my medication. I never wanted you to find me like that. I look forward to your calls too much.”

He didn’t think about what he was saying, he just reacted. “Well, except for one.”

Mac gave him a quizzical look. “What?”

“The voicemail message.”

“What?”

“The voicemail message I left you after I got home from the bin Laden broadcast.”

Mac looked at him like he had two heads. “I never got a message.”

“I left you that message that said, ‘hey it’s me, I’m not just saying this because I’m high right now.’”

Mac made a face at him and said, “I never heard that message.”

“Mac, there’s no way you don’t remember what that message said.”

Mac wanted to lift her head up and move around so she could answer him properly, but with the equipment attached to her she couldn’t. “It wouldn’t be possible for me to remember what it said because I never got it.” She punctuated the last part of her statement to let him know that she didn’t want to play whatever game he was playing.

Will stopped to put his thoughts together. “You never got it? You never got the message.”

Mac shook her head. “No, what did the rest of the message say?”

“You’re sure that you never got and not that you’re answer was no.”

“Will, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Will looked around the room, making absolutely sure that no one else could hear him. If she was going to reject him, he wanted to be alone for it. His mind started racing, trying to find the right words. He has a lot to apologize for. He has a ring in his desk, but that may be too much right now. Not for long, though. Her father said she was ready? No, one thing at a time.

“I left you a message, on your voicemail, when I got home from the bin Laden broadcast. I guess you were asleep or taking a shower or something, I don’t know, you didn’t answer the call, so I left a message. And I said, ‘Hey Mac, it’s me. I’m not just saying this because I’m high right now. And if the answer is no, then just do me a favor and don’t call me back or bring it up or anything. But I have to tell you, after tonight, I really want to tell you that I never stopped loving you. You were spectacular tonight.’ And then I may have said ‘Can you believe we got Obama?’ But that last part, I meant bin Laden. My brain had adrenaline and THC coursing through it and, and, and” Will looked down at Mackenzie, wanting to know what she thought and not wanting to know at the same time. She was laughing. And she was holding his hand, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles.

“Yes. I mean, there’s not really a question there, but the answer is yes. If you’re telling me, really telling me that you love me and you’ve never stopped, then my answer is I haven’t either.”

A wide smile crossed Will’s face and his free hand went to her face to touch it, to feel her skin. He looked at her, wetting his lips. “Am I able to kiss you. I mean with all this stuff.”

“I think you can manage to find a way around it.”

He kissed her tenderly, taking his time to remember what it feels like to share breath with her. Her tongue was dry, he’d need to make sure to get her some water. But she tasted the same, she felt the same.

“I was so scared when I saw you, Mac. You were on the floor and covered… Don’t do that to me again.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“And I have so much to apologize for. How long are your parents going to be here? I mean are they going to want to take care of you when you get out?”

“I’m sure they will let you share the duties. But you’re going to have a show to put together. Jim will be good, but you will need to keep everyone motivated until I get back.”

“You’re coming back, that’s all the motivation I need.” He kissed her again. “I love you Mac.”

Mac smiled up at him. “I love you too.”


End file.
